Saturday, May 31, 2008

“Your 2¢ isn’t worth a hill of beans.”

Have you ever been told that? How did it make you feel? Good? Probably not…Have you ever said that to someone? How do you think it make them feel? Good?

Even if it is said in fun, it’s sarcasm. I used to be pretty good at it. How about this one, “If your brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.” Dude, that was a good one. Or how about “Duh, everybody knows thaaaat.” Or “Can we continue now?”








Here’s a picture of the king of sarcasm, The Diceman. “Who invited chew inta my life anywaysa?”

You grew to just love him didn’t you… right. He just keeps at it, and keeps at it until you feel 2” tall. Now I got to admit, when he first came on the scene, I rolled over laughing. Sometimes I about peed my pants I was laughing so hard. Then I recognized the jabs, they started to sound too familiar, too close to home. I could hear ugliness, mean spiritedness, the sarcasm jabs started to hurt.

When our intention is to make someone look bad or feel bad while making ourselves look or feel better, God’s Word says it’s wrong. Philippians 2:3 (MSG) says ”If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.”









You carry with you a loaded weapon…your mouth, it has the ability to do major damage, even minor damage is harmful. Ever watch a boxing match, a jab here, a jab there, more jabs here, more jabs there, on and on. Sometimes it seems like a this sparring match is going nowhere when out of thin air one more jab and one of them goes down. What happened? “Hey this fight is fixed!” someone yells out because they didn’t see the fatal blow. “Looser!” is shouted out from someone else. Oh, there was a knock out all right, the jab jab jab, jab jab jab took its toll and no one saw it coming. As humans we can only take so much.

Nobody is immune from this, myself included. We all occasionally make comments in a mild, sarcastic or facetious manner, without intending to hurt others. Sometimes, these comments can lighten a tense moment or even cause others around us to laugh. Let’s look at what Jesus’s brother James has to say about this…James 3:2 ” Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect…” then in v5-6 He continues with “In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.”

Everyone handles the little verbal jabs differently. Please don’t think that because they don’t affect you they aren’t effecting someone else. So often the “rolling eyes” or slight side shake of the head or turn of your mouth in disapproval are jabs to the soul.









By the way... this goes right along with what Pastor Rob is talking about right now at Southbrook. Read some of it here.

True wisdom comes from God. Trusting that The Father loves us so much that He sent his only begotten Son to die a horrible death on the cross for us, so that we never have to sacrifice anyone else ever again. When we use our tongues or body language as jabs, that is what we may be doing, sacrificing someone. That then becomes their cross to bare.

James 3:13-18 finishes with, “If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.”

Psalm 5:9 describes those whose “throat is an open sepulcher,” and Jesus Christ said, in Luke 6:45, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

Ultimately, we must all follow Christ’s admonition in Luke 6:31: “And as you would that men should do to you, do you also to them likewise.” In other words, we must always be considerate of others, treating them the way we would want to be treated. This includes the way we speak to them. You will be known as much by your words as by your actions, so choose your words wisely.

Laughter is a blessing, jabs eventually cause pain. You are a witness to others of God's love in your life. Put your gloves down and give the people around you that you love, the people that look up to you, see Jesus, not Diceman Jr.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

"God is my copilot..." NOT

For many years I just loved the bumper sticker "God is my copilot." I first saw it on VW busses, then cool looking "Hippie vans", then '68 Dodge Dart's. I actually had one in the 70's... Slant 6 engine with push button gears on the dash, 225,000 miles and not a drip of oil....ever anywhere. I can hear Archie and Edith singing "Those were the days!" We the people were in charge, remember the song "It's your thing do what you want to do?" Oh yea. God was MY copilot. I called Him into action when I needed to.."Help me Mr. Wizzard!!!"

Then, grace came upon me (actually it was a proverbial brick upside the head). I learned that "I" wasn't in charge, quite a humbling experience to say the least.

Today in Rob's blog, (read it here)
... we're reminded that Jesus said in Matthew 16:24 "“Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am."


Any time I see that bumper sticker now I cringe and pray that they too catch on one day, before it's too late.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Guest blogger Janet Periat

We’ve just “Finished” our “One month To Live Series” here at Southbrook. Six weeks of gathering, watching, reading, sharing, tears, reflecting, growing.

Ten new Home Groups were formed, over 200 more people joined into life groups. Lives have been changed and will continue to change.

Back in February I lost my best friend Dany to leukemia. His “Six Months To Live” lasted 7 years. Dany grasped what was important to him and locked on to it with a wild passion…LOVE.

You can catch up here if you missed my post then…

Here is a fantastic writer, and dear friend of Dany’s who wrote from her heart, that for me put’s a real cap on this “One Month To Live” series. Thank you Janet for sharing this with us all.

Janet Periat lives and writes in Northern California. She has completed ten novels, and writes a monthly humor column for CoastViews magazine called “What Would Janet Do?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m emotionally wasted. My eyes are stinging and dry from crying. My heart is heavy. But I feel a sense of joy and gratitude I haven’t felt in a long time.

My friend Dany died last Wednesday at fifty-four years old. He lost a seven-year battle with leukemia. They gave him six months, he lasted six and a half years beyond that. Today, at his service, I saw why.

There was more love in that tiny old building that I’ve seen anywhere, ever. The people who spoke, what they said, the service wasn’t somber, it was a celebration of someone very special. While we all cried throughout, it was clear we were celebrating Dany. What he gave to his family and the world around him. His father spoke, his mother spoke, his best friend led the ceremony; another good friend played a song he’d written for him. His wife spoke. His son, Bronson, spoke.

It was after his son spoke that I saw the true heart of Dany Walker. He raised his son to be a man. And today, I saw a boy I’ve known since he was five steps into the shoes of an adult. Today, Bronson became a man at twenty.

Quiet, self-confident, Bronson spoke of how recently his father told him that he was ready to face life without him. That he’d brought him up and he’d made sure he’d be okay. He told his son he was ready to stand on his own. That his job was done.

Dany was diagnosed with leukemia seven years ago. He fought with every fiber of his being to stay for six and a half more years. He wasn’t done. Bronson was still a boy, his wife Peggy, needed him. Dany had more to do. So he endured more pain, more procedures and more time in the hospital than is nearly humanly possible. And he did it all for his son and for his Peggy, the love of his life.

Dany and Peggy shared an extraordinary bond. It is rare to witness a love such as these two shared. Rare. They gazed at each other as if they shared a secret; a joyous, passionate secret. They gave off love like a blast furnace gives off heat. Not only do I grieve the loss of this wonderful man, I grieve for the loss of that connection. A connection so rare and so powerful, most people don’t get the privilege to experience it. But Dany and Peggy were blessed.

They ended their time together much in the same way they started it. Holding each other, loving each other. It was just the two of them, alone in their bedroom. He was weak, his sturdy frame reduced to a mere eighty-five pounds. Peggy held him. He said, “I feel a string, it’s pulling on me, pulling on me.” She said, “No reason to stay honey, you go on.” A minute or so later, he died, right there in her arms. Peggy was so grateful to be there. So grateful to hold him to the end. So grateful she’d been able to have seven more years with him. So grateful for every moment she got to spend with him.

Funerals are for the living. They are a place to mourn, a place to celebrate, a place to reflect on our own lives. The service today slapped me in the face. I’ve been brooding lately; dealing with some childhood issues in therapy; my husband has been out of work for some time, our savings are dwindling; we’re scared. But what I saw today reminded me that all my fears are meaningless. What I realized today is that none of the things I’ve been worried about mean anything. What I realized today is that I have what Peggy and Dany shared. My connection to my husband is amazing. He truly is a dream. He’s strong and capable and funny and witty and charming and he loves me like no one else ever has. No one looks at me the way he does. No one but him.

And today, I got to go home with my husband to our home. Peggy went home to an empty bed; a closet full of Dany’s clothes; drawers still full of his things. A home full of memories, a home they built together. While the son is down the hall tonight, the other rooms are filled with relatives from out of town, shortly, everyone will return to their lives, leaving Peggy to pick up the pieces of hers. She’ll return home after work and Dany will not be there. On her birthday, he won’t be there to cook her a fantastic meal, tell her how much he loves her. She will live out her life without Dany by her side. While I believe eventually she’ll find companionship, the new man will not be Dany.

But I still have my Frank. Frank will be there when I wake up and when I go to bed at night. He’ll be eating all my chocolate, making faces at me on the other side of the glass when I’m cleaning the windows. He’ll be there to hold me when I get a rejection letter from a publisher. He will be there.

And I am so very grateful. So incredibly grateful. All my problems lessened today. Today I realized that I have no problems.

It’s a perspective I don’t want to lose. I don’t want to go back to taking things for granted. I want to realize how special today is. I want to feel grateful when I take my daily walk with Frank by my side. I want to feel grateful even when he pisses me off and I feel like clobbering him over the head with something. I want to realize how special and wonderful every day is with him. How lucky I am.

And I want to thank Dany Walker for waking me up to the Real Truth: there is only one real thing in our world. It is our connection to others. Period. All the rest is bulls**t.

My love and prayers go out to Dany’s widow and his son, step-daughter and son-in-law; his parents and family and friends; to everyone who was blessed enough to have the man touch their lives. And I want to thank Dany for being such a great friend to me; such a great father to my friend Bronson; such a great husband to my friend Peggy and such a great person in general.

If only all of us could have such a legacy.

©2008, Janet Periat

http://www.janetperiat.com/index.php